This has been plaguing my mind for quite some time now. Whenever I see mothers who have left their jobs to look after their little ones at home, I do feel a twinge of guiltiness seeping into my heart.. thinking whether I did the right thing.
Am I a bad mother in leaving my bubba at the nursery at only 1 year of age?
Will my bubba turn up fine when she grows up?
Is she missing something by me not being able to spend more time with her?
I must say I and my bubba did struggle a lot in the initial stages..she was falling sick quite frequently...I could not leave her at the nursery with the image of her crying stuck in my heart.
The pressure and guilt became so much that I left my job and spent time with her so that she can get used to the nursery and once I felt that she is happy I looked for another job a bit closer to home. Luckily I got one that gave me enough flexibility in working hours and holidays.
And I must say that now she actually looks forward to going to the nursery. She enjoys the company of the staff and other kids of her own age. She is doing lots of activities and learning a lot too.
And I am also happy in the sense that my bubba is happy and being looked after well and I can goto work without worrying about her.
Having studied so hard and devotedly, I also know that I am fiercely independent, not working is not an option for me. I just hope I am setting up a good example for her.
But still that guilt nags me and is bleeding my heart little by little....
( I know I have rambled on as usual...but then I have got a valid reason to do so as its Free Write day on Write Tribe )
Am I a bad mother in leaving my bubba at the nursery at only 1 year of age?
Will my bubba turn up fine when she grows up?
Is she missing something by me not being able to spend more time with her?
I must say I and my bubba did struggle a lot in the initial stages..she was falling sick quite frequently...I could not leave her at the nursery with the image of her crying stuck in my heart.
The pressure and guilt became so much that I left my job and spent time with her so that she can get used to the nursery and once I felt that she is happy I looked for another job a bit closer to home. Luckily I got one that gave me enough flexibility in working hours and holidays.
And I must say that now she actually looks forward to going to the nursery. She enjoys the company of the staff and other kids of her own age. She is doing lots of activities and learning a lot too.
And I am also happy in the sense that my bubba is happy and being looked after well and I can goto work without worrying about her.
Having studied so hard and devotedly, I also know that I am fiercely independent, not working is not an option for me. I just hope I am setting up a good example for her.
But still that guilt nags me and is bleeding my heart little by little....
( I know I have rambled on as usual...but then I have got a valid reason to do so as its Free Write day on Write Tribe )
Sumi,your post is full of emotions. There is nothing to feel guilty that you have again started working and cannot give time for your child. You can shower her with affection in your spare time. After all you are working that she gets the best of everything.
ReplyDeleteYes Usha you are very right. That's exactly what I do..shower her with all my love and attention whenever I am with her. :)
DeleteLook at this situation from another angle, then you will feel yourself guilt-free. There are many working women who leave their new born just for the sake of their career...You are a best mom...
ReplyDeleteThanks Shellymona for your kind comments. I really like your posts.
DeleteSumi, all of us go through this. I was a SAHM for my daughter and I worked when my son was little. They both turned out great kids so either or works. Just relax and enjoy your time with her. And thanks for participating in my prompt.
ReplyDeleteThanks Suzy..I hope I can participate more..
Deletejust let go of that guilt.... kids of working parents grow up to be a lot more independent...how do i know this? well, i was a working mom to my elder one, and now a stay at home mom after the second one was born, and i can so clearly see the difference between the two...the elder one is much more smarter and independent than the younger one.
ReplyDeleteso chillax..ur a great mom! and ur little one will be proud of you.
Thanks for dropping by.. :) Yes I totally agree with you.
DeleteIt's an emotional mom and please, get rid of the guilt. You are doing a fab job, earning for ur bubba. It's not easy being a mom, juggling work and the apple of ur eye:)
ReplyDeletewww.vishalbheeroo.wordpress.com
Yes very true Ranveer!!
DeleteSumi read, "Lean in: women, work and the will to lead – by Sheryl Sandberg." The book will put all your doubts to rest.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jini. I had heard about the book, and now plan to read it.
ReplyDelete