Is this what they call Selfless Love?

Today I came across a beautiful poem and really loved it, hence thought of putting it down here.........

Your children are not your children. 
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. 

They come through you but not from you, 
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. 

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, 
For they have their own thoughts. 

You may house their bodies but not their souls, 
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. 

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. 
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

~Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Before we decided to have our little one I always used to think of "how will my baby grow up?", "Will he/she turn out OK?", "What if he/she turns into an evil person?". Oh yes! I used to think all this and more!

But the day I set my eyes upon her I fell head over heels in love with her. It was the type of love  where in I loved her innocence, her tiny hands and feet, her long yawns, the twinkle in the eye.

I don't think I will be hurt if her views are not the same as mine. If the dreams I saw for her are not the same as what she dreams of. If she does not turn out to be the perfect person that I wanted her to be. If her interests are not the same as mine.

I can already see the little person in her. Being ever inquisitive, funny, cheeky and gorgeous.

I will love her for the person that she is and not what I wanted her to become.

I know we are going to have our share of disagreements as she grows up but I hope I will remember this in those times too!

Is it O2 or a birthday cake!!

A two year old can fire your imagination. I realised this when we took our bubba to the O2 dome (Millenium Dome) over the weekend. Those of you who have not seen it below is a picture of the same.

photo credit: http://www.americanahotel.co.uk/media/photos/o2a.gif

Now as soon as we got out of the car my little one started singing "Happy Birthday to you.. Happy Birthday to you". It took me a moment to realize that she had actually pictured the dome as a big birthday cake and the support poles on the top were the candles and hence the birthday song. Yes it brought a smile to my lips too... :)

Even though I had seen the building a thousand times before I never pictured it that way!

And in a way it got me thinking how I have lost the child in me. Kids find even the smallest of things very interesting and look at everything around them with curiosity. They actually bring a fresh perspective into this world. I just hope I can keep the fire of imagination burning in her and maybe that will kindle back mine too.

My thoughts...

This has been plaguing my mind for quite some time now. Whenever I see mothers who have left their jobs to look after their little ones at home, I do feel a twinge of guiltiness seeping into my heart.. thinking whether I did the right thing.

Am I a bad mother in leaving my bubba at the nursery at only 1 year of age?
Will my bubba turn up fine when she grows up?
Is she missing something by me not being able to spend more time with her?

I must say I and my bubba did struggle a lot in the initial stages..she was falling sick quite frequently...I could not leave her at the nursery with the image of her crying stuck in my heart.

The pressure and guilt became so much that I left my job and spent time with her so that she can get used to the nursery and once I felt that she is happy I looked for another job a bit closer to home. Luckily I got one that gave me enough flexibility in working hours and holidays.

And I must say that now she actually looks forward to going to the nursery. She enjoys the company of the staff and other kids of her own age. She is doing lots of activities and learning a lot too.
And I am also happy in the sense that my bubba is happy and being looked after well and I can goto work without worrying about her.

Having studied so hard and devotedly, I also know that I am fiercely independent, not working is not an option for me. I just hope I am setting up a good example for her.

But still that guilt nags me and is bleeding my heart little by little....

( I know I have rambled on as usual...but then I have got a valid reason to do so as its Free Write day on Write Tribe )